Cat Agents Midnight Conference.
Report : July 20 Toby & August 12 Teddy.
After infiltrating our designated home, training, two legs, to feed, water and groom us, they pulled a fast one on us and took us to this strange building....V.E.Ts. Don't panic! (Yes we've had extensive reports about huumans and this V.E.T place). Upon recognisng the afore mentioned, we realised that counter measures were futile. We were boxed. Escape protocols were not an option. (Dasterdly planning beforehand, on their part. Usually we sense these VET visits a mile off and deploy evasive manoeuvres - not this time).
We could smell the fear and madness there and that was just the huumans. Other agents and quadropeds tried to signal to us their experiences. Yes...some were warnings were given ... calm down at the back there. Order! Order! The shared mental wavelengrh we we're on, (yep, we've still kept this a secret from them 2 legged critters) reported the following: nice staff, lots of smiles to go a round, best scratches comes from female in Room 3, beware bitterness packages. They don't smell of food. Humans then try to stuff bitterness down your throat when they get you home. But that's if you're lucky. Yep...vets smile and just as you think you've fooled them with purrs and staying calm, after all that's basic Agent Cat training, then, when you least expect it, BAM!! They stick something up your bum. Calm down. Calm down everyone. Teddy, hasn't been the same since. Yes, yes, he'll be fine. The counselling and the grass he ate is helping. Listen, they don't know we can speak their language. Teddy, said he was about to break Cardinal Rule 42 and verbally abuse this tail abuser but remembered his training. He may be a rookie but he's got the heart of a lion. His eyes are still watering but that's what an agent does - takes one for the team.
Remember: 4 legs = good. 2 legs = okish. Vets = still working how to get them to give dogs hell and feed us Cesars, gourmet meals and cream on our arrival.
Toby signing out.