Desperate. Cat/human ectoparasite. Read carefully, devil's in the detaiis

I'll start by saying yes, I have seen a vet. I'll get to that later... 4 months ago, I found myself being bitten by something in my blankets. Where I live there is a doctor shortage, and I did research and self-treated for human scabies. then for lice. Importantly, at the beginning of this process i checked my cat for fleas. I know how to check, and no fleas. I also ruled out bed bugs. After 3 months I noticed my cat had white specks all over her fur. I did research and figured that both she, and I must have mites! However, research only shows a few kinds of mites that bother BOTH cats and humans. I came up with a list of 3 mites as possibilities. 1 ear mites, infesting beyond the ears 2 walking dandruff mite-Cheyletiellosis 3 Feline mange, known as Referred to as human notoedric mange (as opposed to human infestation with a human scabies mite) Her ears DID show a tiny bit if evidence of possible ear mites, so I cleaned them and treated her with oral ivermectin. The ears now look clear-pink, happy, clear. I also treated her with topical fipronil, Imidacloprid, and methroprene. But every week, I find her with these dots. Mostly on her face and neck, white, smaller than the size of a grain of salt. They grow to the size of a row of 2-5 grains of salt end-to-end. And I have them all over myself as well. They start white and the size of a grain of salt.  And I have the same dots all over me, my bedding my house. They start about the size and colour as a grain of salt and either turn brown or black. They never get bigger than 2-5 grains of salt in a row. I took her to a vet who was uninterested in my story. That vet confirmed that she didn't have fleas and gave me a broad spectrum mitocide-heartgard, I think it was called. she told me to give her a bath for pollen allergies. She said she saw the dots I was talking about but could not identify what they are. I gave her the miticide but then I also bathed her the next day as directed, and that may have washed it off. I don't doubt that she has a pollen allergy causing some dermatitis, but I also know we both have an ectoparasite. This week I ran a lint roller over both myself and my cat and found the same thing. You can't see the white dots on this pic, but imagine a mix of white and brown dots on this roller. Both myself and my cat have them. She has no bites from them that I can see. I myself get a stinging sensation and then reach down and find one. I have to admit, I wonder if they are lice, even though all sites say that feline lice do not infect humans. The reason I say so is that they start clear and round and develop to a slightly oblong shape (but no bigger than the length of 3 grains of sand). If I find one and roll it around between my fingers it produces this brown dot or a black dot-I presume digested blood. But unlike flea dirt, it does not become red when added to a tissue and water. They look like an animal louse to me. We have raccoons and squirrels in the area, although again, the research says that lice are species specific and won't infect cross species. My cat seems mostly unbothered. She has some dermatitis, but no bites. I have bites and am losing my mind. I have used every remedy safe for the human body and more...(permrethrin, lice remedies, sulfer lime dip, powders, TCVP, bleach, lindane, etc...)   Can anyone confirm if they have seen ear mites outside of the ears, what they look like? can they be seen? Can anyone confirm whether or not the walking dandruff mite can be seen by the naked eye, and if so what it looks like? what about the feline mange mite, when it infects humans. Can it be seen, what does it look like, or is it truly microscopic. I get different answers on this-some say it is, some just say it's very small. No one here can confirm it from experience, looking at it. Any other ideas? Again, this is not flea dirt,there are no adult fleas, no flea exoskeletons, and a vet agreed that there were no fleas. But whatever we have, it is on our blankets and keeps reinfecting us. We live in Canada, thank you for any ideas.

Hello.  We do not identify parasites on this page.  Sarcoptes Scabei can indeed occur outside the ear in cats, but I would wonder why - is there a concurrently struggling immune system (and if so, why)?  Are blood tests necessary? - good q. For your vet.  Walking dandruff is indeed a 'thing' - cheyletellosis - and the absence of visible fleas on the cat does not confirm their absence, either (fleas do not live on cats; they live in the environment). When did you see your vet and what were their instructions?  Did they just treat the cat, or you and the environment too? - they cannot legally treat you, so would have to send you to a doctor or pharmacyst (Im not sure about the rules in Canada but they'd put you on the right track). Parasites could easy hang out on you for a while and then reinfect the cat when the cats' drug wears off, so treating you, the cats and the environment all at the same time is essential. We would reccommend taking these steps.  I'm sure that your vet can send away a parasite for identification if they are unable to identify them themselves.