Uh oh, disaster! You’ve introduced an adorable new bundle of fluff into your home, but your older cat has taken offence and is refusing to tolerate the new addition. This may seem like a good time to panic, but the situation is usually manageable. Cats have very different social needs to us humans. Learning to live with another feline can take time and effort. If the initial introductions haven’t exactly gone to plan, read on to help salvage the situation!
Table of contents
Go back to basics
If your established cat is not tolerating the new kitten (either through overt aggression or by hiding away), it is best to re-start the whole process. You may or may not have done a phased introduction, starting with scent swapping and proceeding on through visual contact before a full physical introduction. But whether you did or didn’t, you need to backtrack!
Cats are territorial, and can find it difficult to share both territory and resources. The key to having two (or more!) peaceful feline occupants in one house is for them to have their own space and their own food and water. Cats can form strong social bonds, and then they will happily share beds, toys, food, etc. But this is fairly unusual in non-related cats, and so definitely best not to rely on this.
Establish a ‘kitten zone’
The introduction of a boisterous new ball of cuteness may well have taken your older cat by surprise, and left them with ruffled fur – either metaphorically or literally! The invasion of their territory will have been most unwelcome, hence the struggle to get the two cats to bond. Separate the kitten into its own area, which is completely cut off from your older cat, for example in a spare room. This may seem counter-productive to getting them more used to each other, but your older cat will need time to settle down and re-establish their comfort level in their own home.
Allowing the kitten to occupy a room will also allow the kitten to establish some territory of their own. Include a litter tray, food and water so that the kitten has their own resources. Their scent will soon be covering the room, marking it as definitely ‘theirs’. This clear boundary of territory can help both parties to have their own comfort zones with their own resources, reducing the need to clash and compete.
At the same time as the kitten is settling into their new area, your older cat can ‘reset’ their territory, calm down and replenish their comfort level. Introductions are best done calmly and slowly. So making sure your older cat has had time to unruffle after a bad first encounter is useful. Pheromone sprays or diffusers can help some cats if they seem unsettled.
Scent first, and only scent
Even once they have their established zones, cat and kitten will need to learn to share space. It is a good idea to have plenty of litter trays, food, and water bowls available (more than the number of cats!). This is so that they are not competing for precious needs; but they will need to learn to tolerate each other’s presence. Cats can be very stubborn. So just letting the kitten roam and hoping they eventually get used to it is unlikely to work; often a more subtle approach is necessary. Mixing scents is an excellent way to slowly introduce the concept of a new kitten without the inevitable clashes that come with a sudden physical introduction.
Scent swapping can be done by:
- Exchanging bedding from one cat to another.
- Physical contact from you such as stroking first one cat and then immediately the other.
- Allowing each cat to explore the other’s ‘zone’ when the other cat is taken out of the way
- Wiping a cloth around one cat and then wiping the cloth around furnishings in the other cat’s zone.
Scent is a really important sense to cats, so although it may feel like nothing is happening, these tactics will exert a huge influence on both cat and kitten. It is wise to repeat these actions frequently whilst still keeping the kitten and cat apart, and continue for a week or so. This allows the older cat plenty of time to become familiar with the new kitten’s scent, in a much more relaxed context than their initial meetings.
Visual contact
The next stage is to allow the cat and kitten to see each other, but not physically be close. If the first introduction of cat and kitten did not go well, this stage may be interesting and may need to be taken slowly.
A physical barrier is recommended between the cat and kitten, such as a stair gate. Another option is to have the kitten in a large crate, but make sure they have something to hide in if they become overwhelmed. If either party appears aggressive, fearful or just unsure, don’t force the interaction. Separate them again and continue with scent swapping. Cat and/or kitten may vary with their reactions; from curious to unconcerned, playful to nervous. Make sure both have plenty of space and the ability to retreat if necessary.
The older cat’s tolerance should gradually build up, and especially if successful scent swapping has been achieved, they are often curious and will sniff the kitten through the barrier. This is an excellent sign of success, but it may require time and patience to reach this step.
Ready, set, GO!
Once your cat and kitten appear to be tolerating each other well, it is time to allow them to mingle! Hopefully by now, your older cat will have forgiven, if not forgotten, their initial dislike, and will now be much more tolerant to the kitten. An initial meeting is best help in a ‘neutral’ area: somewhere that neither cat spends much time and certainly not where they feed, toilet or sleep.
A hugely important point to remember is that they will still need their own space and their own resources: just because they have been cautiously sniffing each other and are not yowling and hissing doesn’t mean they want to share a bed or a food bowl! Keep the kitten’s zone as a place for them to retreat to if necessary, and where they can feed and sleep without threatening your older cat’s established routines.
How long will it take?
All cats are individuals, and some tolerate new feline presences better than others. This process can vary from a few days to several months. It is best to follow your cat: check their body language and try and interpret if they feel comfortable or not. Only progress to the next stage when both seem relaxed and ready. Taking it slowly will pay off in the long run! If your older cat seems to be finding it difficult to accept the new kitten, pheromones or nutritional calming supplements can be of use in the initial period to help them overcome any anxiety. If you are really struggling, think about speaking to your vet, or a qualified behaviourist.
Discussion
Hello really looking for some help, i currently have a spayed 8yr old female cat and got a kitten who will be (1yr in jul this year 2024) i did slow intros,scent swaps etc and older cat hissed the first day but nothing since. Both cats have shown interest in each, have sniffed each other when out in supervised area together again no major issue until 1yr old cat starts constantly wanting to jump over older cat. I have left them at it for afew mins but then broken it up or tried re direction but within secs 1yr old is back at older cat. Older cat while then jump away,run for exist and has hissed but still 1yr old will back away for a second or so then want to restart jumping. Husband is saying that they wont ever get along and that its maybe time to rehome 1yr old cat? What can i do?? Is he right?
You might need to go back a step and try again – sometimes, given how positive it was earlier, you just need to give them more time.
But yes, a lot of cats will never accept another cat in the house… good luck.
I have a 1-year-old female cat and have just brought in a 1-mouth-old female kitten. Even though the kitten doesn’t seem to mind my cat, my cat hates her and won’t go near her. Also whenever I have the kitten’s scent on me she starts hissing and stays far away. I don’t know what to do.
This is really common – many cats are just not really sociable! Follow the steps above, and if that doesn’t help, seek advice from a clinical animal behaviourist.
We have two adult boys (Loki, 3, and Haku, 4) and we just got two kittens about 5 days ago(3 months old, boys and girl). The older cats are not eating and have been very sluggish and seem depressed. Usually they’re lazy but playful, but never have issues with eating. We have limited space and Loki usually hung out in the bedroom where the kittens now reside. I’m worried that they won’t go back to being their usual selves. They haven’t “met” the kittens yet, but they obviously can sense and smell them and before they meet, i want to make sure our older boys are ok. Can you offer any advice to help our boys get back to eating and playing again?
Some cats never get used to the presence of a new cat in the house, unfortunately. The best thing to do here is a very gradual supervised introduction, and lots of reward for the existing cat: there’s a great article about it from International Cat Care, here.
I have a 3yr old oriental male,(his 7 yr old companion also an oriental male had to be put to sleep 8weeks ago.)Since then he’s howled and eaten very little-and appeared to be looking for him.So ,I thought he maybe needed feline company.I brought a 12 wk kitten home-he was very suspicious of it,then I took in another 12wk rescue kitten.My cat practically ignores the second kitten,but attacks the first one constantly-I keep the kittens in separate pet crates when I’m not around,but the older cat even tries to attack the first kitten through the crate bars.When I go to bed my cat cuddles up to me as close as he can and is so loving and gentle.What can I do ?
Unfortunately, you can’t just replace a cat: cats generally like/get on with individuals they’ve known all their lives and ignore or dislike any new ones. They are not a social species like dogs or humans are!
It sounds like you might need some professional asisstance here. Try the reintroduction (step by step, scent introduction first) again, but I suspect you’re going to need a good clinical animal behaviourist.
Hi we have got an 8 year old female tabby and we’ve recently introduced a 4 month male bengal tabby kitten to our home. Our female cat really dislikes him to the extent she can’t be in the same room and if they are, then the kitten just wants to sniff and constantly tap and play which always ends up with the female tabby hissing, lashing out and leaving the room and eventually just wanting to go outside to be left alone.
Any suggestions to how we can overcome, this has been happening for 5-6 weeks.
If it’s been going on for 5-6 weeks, then reintroductions aren’t likely to be effective (although you could try). The trouble is that cats really aren’t social creatures and don’t generally like other cats (with a few exceptions, usually siblings).
I think in this case it’s time for a clinical animal behaviourist to get involved: if you keep on, either someone’s going to get hurt, or the older cat will just leave.
We have an older male cat, about 13, and have introduced a two year old female cat about a month ago. We have been going slow and following all recommendations from researched sources. Each time the have supervised together time, it’s longer before they eventually start ti fight. Any recommendations on how to work with them? After being separated each time neither seem stressed. The new female cat has her own room and slams and claws at the door to get out all night, unless someone sleeps with her. Also wondering if you have advice about that as well. Thank you!
I think if it’s improving, you could keep going!
However, if it starts to plateau out, then time for a consult with a clinical animal behaviourist.
Hello. I adopted an adorable female kitten about a month ago. She’s perfect, tender, smart, joyful… but a little hyper and veeery clingy. I was told she would benefit from a friend because in her foster family she had other kittens to play with. She’s now 4,5 months old and I brought in a 2,5 months old male kitten yesterday. I was told since they are both kittens and used to other cats I should just let the new one explore and meet my resident kitten. He seemed curious and cautious… but she hated him on sight. She hissed and growled and stalked him. So I’ve placed him in a room with all that he needs and she has access to the rest of the house. Whenever I try to spend time with the new kitten, she scratches and cries at the door. I’m heartbroken, he’s a sweetheart, I wanted them to be friends so bad and I actually thought I was doing right by her! Is there any chance things might improve with scent swapping? How/when do I know if there is an irreconcilable personality clash? (i haven’t adopted the kitten yet, I’m fostering him so if all comes to worst he could go to another family). Thanks for your help and insight.
You need to go very, very cautiously and step by step – but remember, often cats don’t really like other cats very much!
There’s some great guidance here: https://icatcare.org/advice/introducing-an-adult-cat-to-your-cat/
Hello, thank you for your reply! I had forgotten about this message. A month later, I am happy to say my kittens absolutely LOVE each other. They play together, sleep together and lick each other purring. I’m so happy, they are adorable. In the end I wasn’t even that rigorous either. I had to isolate the new kitten for a week because he was sick… and then introduced them and they started playing. They’re best friends now! <3
That’s great to hear!
Hello, I have a 9 year old cat (Cowboy) and a now 6 month old kitten (Simon). I got Simon back in early august, and we’re now nearing the end of October. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment and so there’s a limited amount of space to really get them separated and used to each other’s scents. Upon introducing them I did so very slowly–Simon’s litter box, food and water bowls, and bedding were moved first into my bathroom, and then into the laundry alcove I have (which has a door). Cowboy’s things were moved into my bedroom from the laundry room to my bedroom, where he spends much of his time anyway.
I did a very slow introduction between them (maybe too slow?). However, I think I made the mistake of letting them roughhouse after they started interracting. At first I was separating them immediately, but I noted that neither seemed overly stressed by it. Cowboy would initiate it, but he wasn’t batting at Simon or hissing and usually started grooming him in the lulls of their wrestling. I continued to separate them at intervals though because Cowboy didn’t seem comfortable enough to sleep near one another. I let Simon have most of the apartment at night while Cowboy comes to sleep with me in the bedroom, where Simon isn’t allowed to be. This seemed to be mostly working, although I was getting worried about the seeming lack of progress.
However, in the last week or two, something changed. Cowboy began hissing at Simon and batting at him, which is unlike him. I’ve tried separating them again, and being very proactive when they are together for short periods about redirecting Simon’s attention if he goes to play with Cowboy, but it is not improving. I have a pet gate and Cowboy seems interested in smelling Simon and watching him through it, but I’m worried. Cowboy seems more aggressive towards the kitten, and more stressed even when the kitten isn’t around. He purs less, and he hasn’t been making biscuits much at all, which is again, unusual.
It’s been two, almost three months. I’m not sure where to go from here. What are the signs that the personality conflict is irreconcilable?
Unfortunately, I think you know the answer – this does sound like irreconcilable differences, as it sounds like you’ve done everything pretty much right.
The only option I can think of at this point would be a consultation with a good clinical animal behaviourist, who might come up with some fresh ideas – good luck!
We have a 6 year old cat, a 5 year old cat and just brought home 7 week old kitten siblings. All of the cats are female and are spayed. I should note that we also lost a 6 year old cat that we adopted together with the other 6 year old cat, but they were not siblings. (Our beloved Cutie died of cancer in August.)
We went through all of the steps listed in the article over the last four weeks. The 5 year old cat just keeps to herself. The 6 year old cat seems to be very curious and is always wanting to get close to the kittens. The kittens puff up, hiss and hate having her anywhere near them. However, several times now our older cat seems to attack one of the kittens. This evening she was on the back of the sofa and jumped down onto the kitten and they got into a snarling fight.
The kittens have their own room with their own food and litter box and we only bring them out near our other cats when they can all be supervised.
What else can we do? We are devastated that they don’t seem to be getting along or getting any better. It has been about 4 weeks.
If you’ve followed all the steps, maybe consider talking to a clinical animal behaviourist?
We picked up 2 sibling kittens, boy and girl 7 weeks ago, they are just over 4 months old, very loving gentle and mischievous. We slowly tried to introduce our 7 years old girl to them but she wasn’t having any of it. Hissing and actually snarling. They did keep there distance but just kind of followed behind her when she would walk away. She would hiss and snarl and they would just sit and watch her. Now she is out all day until they go to there room, which is a small room that we have been putting them in just so our adult cat can come in and settle. It really breaks my heart as we want her to so desperately get on with them but she isn’t having any of it. We have noticed that she is spraying also in the house and last night I stroked her and she scrawled at me!! Shes always been a grumpy cat and sometimes goes for you but we love her just the same. Winter will be upon us soon and I dont want her to be outside all the time, what do I do??
Unfortunately, if she really doesn’t like them, then she doesn’t like them: many cats are strongly antisocial! Have you tried separation and scent swapping, and then gradual reintroduction, or the use of a pheromone diffuser (Feliway Friends gets good reports)? However, there’s a good chance she’ll just move out and find another home somewhere else where there aren’t other cats. You could try a clinical animal behaviourist for more detailed advice, but I suspect this is a fundamental personality clash.
Hi friends! I have a 10-year old neutered male cat (Sammy Joe) and just brought home a 9-week old girl kitten (Pancake) last night. I’m trying to do everything right, she’s in her own room with her own toys, water, food, litter box, etc. He will come in the doorway and stare at her, but he hisses if she gets too close. I know this is normal at first! The big issue is that Pancake has fleas from the house she was at and she’s too little for treatment. Sammy has a flea collar, so he’s okay, but how do I keep the fleas from multiplying on her? We’re bringing her to get fixed and get her shots and flea treatment, but we have to wait until she’s 12 weeks. I gave her a lukewarm bath with a little bit of Dawn and used a flea comb, but there’s still fleas. What else can we do in the meantime?
Ask your vet for a non-prescription recommendation suitable for a 9-week old cat: most vets would be happy to supply something suitable!
We have a two year old female cat, and have been slowly introducing our kitten to her over the last two months. Our kitten sleeps and eats in a separate room to our cat but in the last few weeks we have allowed them both open access to our house during the day. Our cat and kitten were doing ok with each other, however, the last week or so our cat doesn’t like to come in the house until all lights are off and she knows the kitten is in her room and out of the way. Our cat skulks around, is no longer happy and loving but nervous. She spends most of her time out of the house. What can we do? It breaks our hearts that our lovely cat is so unhappy. The kitten is so loving but she is too playful for our cat who is aggressive with her. Any help would be great. Thanks.
Unfortunately, many cats just do not like or get on with others.
You could try a clinical animal behaviourist, but if the cat is suffering from stress after 2 months, it may well be that they are fundamentally incompatible.
We have a 3yo cat. We adopted a 3mo kitten last week. We did slow introductions, separated rooms, swapping scents. After three days our older cat seemed really intrigued so we went with supervised playtimes, and there was a lot of improvement, no or very little hissing, they were playful, sniffing at each other, and eating and sleeping side by side. We had two full days of good behaviours so we decided to let them roam freely. After a night where they slept in the same bed (with us), something happened and now my resident cat is terrified of the kitten and seems scared of every sound or movement. We have no idea why this setback is happening. We’ve put the kitten back in the basement and intend to start over, but he cries when he’s alone and it’s breaking our hearts, we can’t always be with him. What should we do?
Hi,
I keep my kitten in a separate room from my older cat at night. Yes, she cries when I first put her in there but she soon stops. They are together all day. At night I leave dry kitten food out for her so she can eat her fill without the older cat eating any which he doesn’t need. So he has his space yet (I spend a little time with each alone before lights out) and will until I take her off her kitten food. They adore each other.
Assuming it is the kitten that scared him, going back a step or two is the right thing to do. Bear in mind the possibility that it’s something else that scared him, though – so see how they get on next time they can see each other.
hi i have an 11 year old neutered male and recently rescued a 5 month old kitten. it has been a week of separation the can see each other through a glass door and did the scent swapping. the hissing and growling stopped after 2 days and now my older cat sits by the door just looking at the kitten and occasionally softly hits the door if the kitten has his hamds on it. is it time for them to meet or should i keep them separated more?
I’d consider a supervised introduction, but be ready to go backwards rapidly if things don’t work out well!
I got a 6-7 month old boy kitten. He is very playful and curious. My other cat, is 5 years old likes to play but is more shy. She seems to okay with the kitten however, the kitten wants to go immediately after her which makes my older cat hiss and growl. Any time there is sudden movement she freaks out. I have kept them separated for the most part and let them eat next to each other. It’s only been a week but should I start from the beginning and can’t them completely separated? It’s hard because I got to keep the kitten in the bathroom and he cries and scratches at the door all the time.
It will take time – possibly quite a long time! Definitely start from the beginning, and above all make sure that they have separate food and water and litter stations.
My mother brought home a kitten yesterday and our 7 year old female cat hasn’t likes it a bit. Our older cat isn’t very affectionate and like to do her own thing but will come to you. Now those all she does is growl and hiss when ever she hears our kitten and has an even shorter temperament. I know it’s only the second day but she can’t even stand hear the kitten I just want to know if it’ll get better. The kitten is extremely sweet and was taken from a bad situation and I’m worried it won’t work out.
It might improve, but keep them separate and scent swap for the first week; make sure that the older cat has access to most of the house, and her own litter trays, food and water bowls, while the kitten is more contained (where she can’t see or hear, or ideally even smell him). After a week or so to let things settle, gradually start to scent swap objects, and then see if you can get to a point where they will ignore each other. Sadly, it’s unlikely they’ll ever be friends, but if they can refrain from being enemies, that’s a great result!
Other things to consider would be whether your older cat has any underlying medical issues that might make her more grumpy – have a chat to your vet about that, especially arthritis, which is not uncommon in cats of this age but can be really hard to pick up on from the outside.
do comments need to be approved? I commented earlier and it showed it posted but I don’t see it
Yes, all comments are moderated and then posted and replied to as fast as we can, but there will be some delay.
Hi! So I have a 1 yr old girl cat and I recently introduced her to a new 8 week male kitten. They didn’t seem to hate each other (no hissing) so I thought it would be fine keeping them in the same room. I was wrong! I feel like that stressed her out to the point she vomiting now. How can I help her? She’s also refusing to eat as much and I haven’t seen her use her litter box. I feel so bad I did this to her, Im separating them today and getting her a new liter box (I was told they could share the same liter box) I’ve been giving her, her favorite treats and she’ll eat a couple of them but won’t want to eat the whole bag like she usually would :/ And as a result I woke up to vomit again, this is 2 days now, please help!
OK, this is seriously stressful for her – most cats do not particularly like other cats or kittens, and whoever told you they would share a litter box was 100% wrong. You need to take urgent action to prevent major problems. Firstly, separate them and keep the kitten in one room while the older cat has access to the whole house. They’ll need entirely separate sets of litter trays, water and food bowls that are cleaned so there’s no scent of the other one left on it.
In many cases, doing this and then a gradual scent swap and slow introduction will be sufficient; in this case, I’d be quite concerned that she’s been thrown in at the deep end so fast that might not be enough, even if you go back to step one and start again, I would storngly recommend contacting a clinical animal behaviourist for specific advice, as she does seem to be reacting really badly.
We have a 16 yr old girl cat BooBoo and now have a 14 month old girl Tazmania . We’ve had BooBoo since she was 2 months and Taz since she was 5 wks. I thought by now BooBoo would warm up to Taz a little since its been over a yr but not even a little. Taz playfully bothers her and i think its for attention and comfort since she was taken from her mother at such a young age, but BooBoo runs and hisses or they fight. I feel bad for both of them because if Taz doesn’t “bother” BooBoo, she wouldn’t get any of her attention but sometimes it seems like BooBoo is having a panic attack so I remove Taz from whatever room she’s in. What should I do at this point? BooBoo has always been a quiet, independent cat and never a bother, while Taz is a full ball of energy…. It’s really like having a toddler around.
The most important thing is to try to make sure that they have space where they can get away from each other.
Unfortunately, after a year, it’s unlikely things are going to improve much; however, it might be worth getting a vet check of BooBoo to make sure there’s no medical issue that’s making her grumpy – painful arthritis, for example is incredibly common (over 90% of cats over 10 or 12), but very rarely recognised early enough. If there’s no medical issues, you could try a clinical animal behaviourist – they may be able to recommend some more specific measures?
I got given my oldest cat when he was 10 weeks old because he bullied his twin brother. He is now a year old and I got a new kitten a few days ago. The older cat doesn’t like the kitten and will hiss. He is fine at a distance with the kitten but if the kitten was to come closer then he either runs away or gets ready to attack or will just hiss and warn him off. We had both cats in the living room separated and we tried to play with them both, the older cat just sat and watched the kitten play but he didn’t hiss or warn him off.
It doesn’t sound like he’s a very social cat – unfortunately, many cats just don’t like company!
It sounds like things might be settling down, but watch out for subtle signs of stress in the older cat like abnormal urination or changes in appetite.
If necessary, think about getting a consultation from a clinical animal behaviourist to try and see if they can help.
We have a 2 year old female cat and have introduced a 12wk old male kitten. The new kitten is doing great but our cat is not happy at all. Our cat just stays in the garden, coming in to eat then going out again (food is near the door).
On advice elsewhere, we’ve tried bringing them together but no joy. The kitten is now in its own room but the cat can’t go anywhere in the house without being very distracted by the kitten and running off at first chance – this is where I’ve brought the cat in and nowhere near the room with the kitten.
The problem is that the cat won’t come in the house after a week. We wonder whether we need to give the kitten back.
Unfortunately, some cats just don’t like having friends. You could try getting a consultation from a clinical animal behaviourist – they may be able to shed some light on the situation,
Alternatively, as you say, you may have to pick which cat to keep and which to rehome.
you give either terrible advice or none at all- “contact an animal behaviourist”, that’s not advice
I agree. Behaviorist cost a lot. Where I live in TX that would be a joke. Don’t say go see a Vet because you won’t get away without spending $100 at least. We’re seeking advice HERE!
Which is what the post is about. However, without actually seeing the cat, interacting in the environment, and making a full behavioural survey, I cannot give more specific advice, and it would be unprofessional of me to do so over the internet to someone in another continent.
Maybe not, depending on your definitions. It is the best thing to do though!
Hi so I have an 8 year old male Bengal cat who was given to me last year, because the owner couldn’t keep it. He had previously always lived with another cat, and seemed to be very stressed when I wasn’t at home for the past year (I live alone). A couple weeks ago I brought home a female kitten for him to have company and not feel as stressed in the long run, and although when they are together they seem fine, I’m afraid that they might play too harshly or that my older cat might hunt and kill the kitten when I’m not at home. They chase eachother playing and clean eachother, but sometimes I get the feeling that my older cat is hunting the kitten rather than playing with her. I’ve seen him catching the kitten with his paws and biting her but he has never hurt her or scratched her, and she immediately goes back to playing with him. I still separate them when I’m not at home just in case, but I don’t know if I did the right thing or if I should go back to step one.
Remember that most cat play – especially in the “wilder” breeds like Bengals – are based around stalking and pouncing, in other words, hunting behaviours. If you’re worried, I’d definitely keep them separate when not supervised for now, and maybe get a video and get an opinion from a clinical animal behaviourist?
I have an older 8 year old female cat. Sterilised and she is slightly aggressive when aggravated. We brought a 5 month old kitten home and we swapped scents and kept them separated with brief sessions of being in the same room for the first 4 days, now we let them roam supervised. But the older cat always attacks and hits the kitten if the kitten gets physically close to her. She doesnt have a reaction to the kitten generally but if the kitten is anywhere physically close to her she suddenly hisses and hits her. It’s worrying because there is hissing. I’m worried the scent swapping didn’t work. And if we separate them will the older cat forget her hatred for the kitten ?
Take it much more slowly – it could take several weeks for the scent swapping to convince them that they’re not enemies!
If the slowly-slowly approach doesn’t seem to work, it might be that they’re fundamentally incompatible – many cats just won’t accept another feline in the house – but some advice from a clinical animal behaviourist may be helpful.
I got kittens now my old car has physically moved to my next door neighbor what can I do to get her back she hates the kittens
Probably not a lot until the kittens have new homes, and even then, she may decide she prefers the neighbours! My suggestion would be rehome the kittens as soon as they’re old enough, and hopefully she’ll come home
I have a house full of rescue cats, & frequently have foster kittens. I’ve never had good luck getting any of my cats to get along but because my neighborhood is overrun with cats, I try very hard to catch as many as I can & get them fixed or rehomed.
I have a 12 yr old tabby that hates all other cats & won’t budge on that. Last year we kept 2 of the kittens from a group of 11. They weren’t supposed to be permanent residents but now it’s looking like they are. They were caught at 6 weeks but struggle with human & feline interaction. They’re sweet but don’t understand the other cats don’t want to play with them. They are now over a year old & still get in the other cats faces swat their tails, etc. The other cats avoid them at all cost.
Now we have 3 foster kittens. They are 3 mths old. The kittens adore the 2 one year old cats but I’m not sure it’s reciprocated. Because the older 2 don’t socialize properly, I’m having trouble reading their body language. I can’t tell if they want to play with the kittens or hurt them. They follow them around & watch them constantly (same as they do with the older adult cats). They swat at the kittens but they don’t use claws. The kittens will swat back but I can tell the kittens are playing.
I keep them separated for the most part, letting them interact only about an hour a day. We did slow introductions.
I don’t want to leave the one year olds in a room by themselves all the time but sometimes I have to do that because they don’t leave the other animals alone. Idk how to tell if they are playing or not.
From what you’ve said, I think that sadly, separation is the key. The other thing to think about is whether there are any potential homes for the two anti-social cats – farm homes, for example, or those where there are no other animals?
We rescued our 3 cats from outside as tiny kittens. 2 Male, 1 Female siblings that are 2 years old. All are fixed. Just recently rescued a F kitten 8 weeks old. She’s very confident. My 2 male cats at first were hesitant but she wore them down bc she’s so darn cute-LOL- but really she just kept trying and following them and again, super confident. She does face bumps with the boys.
My female cat despises the new baby. She’ll hiss and then growl at her brother/s, and mostly just runs away/goes outside to escape the kitten. I’m hoping she’ll come around, it’s only been a couple of weeks. I think I’ll try some of these techniques-
All of them get along with the dog though LOL
I just got a new male kitten last night and my 1 year old female cat is hissing at everyone trying to attack everyone! We have had the dog for 4 months she’s new glowing and hissing at him and I think she wants to really hurt the kitten what do I do?
For the moment, separate them so they each have their own space! Most cats are not naturally sociable – adding a new kitten is often a behavioural disaster if not handled very, very carefully.
Follow the instructions in the article and hopefully they will learn to live together…
My girlfriend and I just moved into our first apartment bringing along our two year old cat, smudge, with us. My girlfriend and I would come home from work and find smudge lonely and overall sad. So we decided to get a kitten thinking she would keep smudge company. So we went and picked up karma, and as soon as we brought her home smudge was devastated. We live in a studio efficiency apartment and she just hides in the bathroom. I don’t know how to go about them getting along.
Unfortunately, most cat’s don’t actually like other cats that much – especially if they didn’t grow up with them. Try the separate and scent swap method, but if it doesn;t work, you will need to consider either rehomoning one, or getting a clinical animal behaviourist in for advice.
We have a 2 year old cat who was a little grumpy to begin with. She had kittens in January. Gave away some and plan on keeping 2, one male and one female (they are 4 months old now). However, my cat keeps growling at them, especially the male one, and even swipes at them, without nails. Overall she just does not seme to be happy to share her space. What should we do? We do not want to give the kittens away. We thought since they were her own kids,it wouldn’t be so difficult but it’s been 2 weeks and its still the same.
Hmmm – unfortunately, cats of different generations often aren’t willing to share space, and she’s probably trying to drive him away as he’s entering puberty. This is a complex situation, and I’d suggest you get a clinical animal behaviourist involved, to be honest, as otherwise you’re going to have a number of stressed and unhappy cats! Neutering him ASAP may help, but it’s not a guarantee.
I have 2 cats both fixed female and male and I bought home kitties that was my mom’s cats litters and now my older one are growling and hissing will it get better or did I make a mistake
Unfortunately, if they don’t like them, they don’t like them: cats are not naturally social creatures! It might be worth trying to rehome the kittens ASAP.
Hi
Many thanks for this article. I thought it might be useful to share my experience in case it helps somebody else.
We had two Burmese from kittens, they were brother & sister and adored each other. Very sadly we lost the boy to a road accident (somebody driving irresponsibly fast up a quiet residential street). Our cats were just short of a year old.
The girl was very distressed and looking for her brother. Advice from feloow Burmese cat owners, and the consensus of online breed experts, was to get a new kitten to provide company for our girl as soon as possible. So, we got a 16 week old Burmese girl but the older girl just hated her – lots of hissing, growling, and lunging at glass doors where we kep the kitten separately.
We followed all of the advice here, without much success in our case. The breeder who provided our pair suggested we get a basic cat wand with some dangly attachments (not a fishing pole type toy with a toy on the end of long string) and use that for the cat and kitten to play with, restraining the kitten while the older girl took her turn.
This was the first time we had them in the same room for any length of time, and the older girl just seemed to not notice the kitten. Two more days of doing this for a few minutes in the evening were similarly successful. On the third day we took a deep breath and let the kitten wander the house (which was heavily dosed with Feliway from two diffusers!). There was some initial trepidation on the part of the kitten and older girl but ten minutes later they were play chasing each other round and under beds and up and down the stairs!
There have been a few moments where the older girl has been a bit grumpy and growled or even swiped at the kitten (no claws) but I think she was just laing down the law. Today, just 4 days since the first play session with the wand, they are both very relaxed around each other – we are extremely relieved because it would have been heartbreaking to have to rehome the kitten had things not worked out. So, I really do recommend trying this approach in additon to all of the other good advice above (do the above first, i.e. scent swapping and letting the kitten adjust by having her / his own space initially).
What a great idea! I am about to introduce a kitten to my four year old male cat who recently lost his two elderly sister cats. He’s definitely lonely but loves to play so this would be a good thing to try on their first face to face meeting. They have been seeing each other thru a glass door. Thanks!
I have a 2 year old male cat and a new 8 week old male kitten and the older one ginger seems to hate him pinning him and biting his neck and at first I thought they were playing or trying to assert dominance but I really think he’s trying to kill him im unsure as to what to do
I think it’s really important to separate them ASAP, because older cats will kill kittens quite happily.
Many cats are not social creatures (especially males), and it is unfair to both the older and the younger to try and force them to be. Go back to the beginning and spend several weeks getting them used to each others’ scents without contact, then gradually reintroduce them on neutral ground.
We have a ~4 year old (fixed) female we took in about 3.5 years ago because she failed to acclimate with her original family’s other cat. She was the aggressor and responds as such to any visiting animals, she must always be locked up and will be upset for days following another pet’s visit. She is strictly indoor but has patio access and goes ballistic if another cat wanders through the yard. We do have reptiles that she does not bother at all.
She was withdrawn and barely visible for her first year with us, most visitors didn’t even know we had a cat. In the last year or two she began engaging in more social behavior with us and even guests. She seems to have mellowed dramatically in recent months but is still far from a friendly, lap cat.
Our neighbor is expecting kittens soon and we would love to adopt one but are worried about her rejecting it and reverting to her old antisocial behaviors. Is it worth trying or simply more advisable not to, given her history?
Personally, I’d say you’d be asking for trouble. I might be wrong, and she might decide she loves a kitten – but given her history, it seems a lot more likely that she is by nature a solitary cat and wants to stay that way!
We live in a two floor house, my parents live upstairs and i live downstairs. We have a 3 year old cat who mostly spends time upstairs but sometimes comes downstairs to my apartment to eat and play. 2 weeks ago i adopted a kitten who lives downstairs with me and I tried introducing him to our adult cat slowly but everytime my adult cat comes downstairs I always hold the kitten in my arms because i’m worried my adult cat will attack him if i let him walk around freely because the kitten was used to other cats before so he’s excited to play but my adult cat keeps hissing and growling at him and won’t eat. I’m scared he will stop coming downstairs at this rate and will never get along with my kitten. Do you have any tips?
Make sure there are plenty of separate feeding places and drinking places, as well as litter trays, both upstairs and downstairs. I’d also suggest that you make sure that (at least at the moment!) the little one can’t get upstairs so that’s the older cat’s zone alone. Then its a case of giving them a chance to work it out… good luck!
We have a 9 month old sphinx cat that used to be very playful and loving until we added another sphinx cat thats 3 months old. They play and sleep together but the older one has been less energetic and social. She eats normally, she grooms herself and the younger cat but when she’s alone, she sits with her back turned or her head is down and she isn’t playful with us. However, at night if we are watching a movie, she will hop on our chest, gets cozy and purrs til she falls asleep. What could possibly be causing her to change like this?
Almost certainly the addition of a new cat! Most cat’s aren’t sociable with other cats – and by adding the youngster, you’ve disrupted her routine. The best thing to do is probably to make sure that the two cats have all their own stuff and their own time, so they aren’t forced together. The good news is that they are willing to tolerate each other and aren’t fighting!
It’s been two months sense I rescued a kitten (male) . The 3 other cats are still only getting used to it . The 4 cat hisses growls and has now started growling at the other cats who he has lived with since birth as they are his siblings and mother . They got in a fight this morning . I had to scare them apart (male cat and his siblings) I keep kitten in cage at night separate litter boxes separate food Bowls but I think I may have a problem here . I can’t afford to take any cat to a cat behaviour vet or class . The kitten is approximately two and a half months old now . Tigger ( three year old )
Is now very angry at his siblings even now which he has never been before . Any advice ? Or is it time to find new home for kitten . The four I had originally are all siblings and mother . They all got in a massive fights about a year ago after I let one outside for Half hour with me . When the one came inside it turned into a massive war for a week it was terrible . Can’t go through that again . Ideas ??
I think that the new cat is massively disrupting the delicate balance between the existing cats: most cats do not cope well in multi-cat households, so you’ve done really well to keep 3 adults happy! But I definitely think it’s time to find the new one a new home, and hope that the social dynamic goes back to where it was… good luck.
We adopted a one year old cat, but our 2 12 year old cats are hiding, not eating and also growl and hiss at the new one. We had tried the towel smell routine but it didn’t work. We isolate the new one but then every other day or so we let her roam the house. That’s when the fighting starts.
We plugged in several Comfort Zone Diffuser Kits but no difference,
I suspect you’ve really upset the social dynamic I suspect with a new cat: the existing pair had clearly worked out their differences and were able to tolerate each other, maybe even like each other to some degree: but a new cat will endanger those bonds. I do find it frustrating when people assume that a new cat will automatically be accepted by the others – cats are basically solitary hunters by inclination, not pack animals!
I think the best thing to do is to get a referral to a good local clinical animal behaviourist and try and get this straightened out before someone (cat or human!) gets hurt!
I’m at the stage where both my rescued kitten and my 2yr old ‘share’ the same environment. My 2yr old hates me. He used to be my shadow and would do everything with me. Now he won’t lay with me, come when his name is called and acts aggravated when I pick him up. I’m missing the companionship of my emotional support animal. How do I get this back? Thank you
That’s unusual, but not unheard of: any change in the social dynamic can upset all sorts of different social relationships with cats -they are very, very sensitive to change.
I think by far the best thing to do would be to get a clinical animal behaviourist in ASAP, to see what can be done to repair the bond between you and the older cat. An alternative might be to rehome the kitten, but thre’s no guarantee that that alone will take things back to the way they were.
I have separate food bowls, multiple litter boxes, toys for each, scratching posts for each, window perches, blankets, and a cat pheromone diffuser. They really haven’t had to share anything. But whatever I’m doing clearly isn’t working because I know my older cat would attack my kitten and I don’t want the kitten to get hurt.
Cats aren’t generally social creatures, but they do normally learn how to “time share”. However, to be honest, if the older cat after 2 weeks is still attacking the kitten and actually putting them in danger, you might need to consider rehoming one of them, for both their sakes’.
Alternatively, ask your vet for the details of a good clinical animal behaviourist, and get a consultation from them: they may be able to work out a programme to help the cats live side-by-side, if not actually getting on well.
I’m unsure what to do with getting my older 2.5 year cat to like my new kitten. The kitten is probably about 1.5 months old and I got her from a farm. My older cat absolutely hates the new kitten. She is aggressive towards her and hunts the kitten. The kitten is usually playful and unaware but has had to hiss back when my older cat gets to close. I started by keeping them separated for 3 days, switching blankets, and then doing a small introduction with treats. That went terribly and my older cat escaped and attacked the kitten. No one ended up hurt but the kitten laid belly up and it was definitely a cat fight. I had to shoo my older cat away and put them back in separate rooms. I live in a small apartment but was able to separate them through a screen door that could just stick to a doorframe. It’s been almost two weeks now and my older cat still hates the kitten. Her body still tenses like she’s going to hunt, and if the kitten is near the screen then my older cat will charge and attack the screen. Then I close the door so they cant see each other and restart………….
Our male kitten introduction has been terrible. I started out with them separated, and our 3yo female seems to be an extreme bully. He has only been here a week though. After a few days, he started getting curious and wanting out to explore. Now she chases him and tonight she got physically aggressive with him. She is not overtly friendly to anybody EXCEPT me (we are a family of 6), so I’m not sure if she’ll be able to move on even if we go back to step one. Any suggestions? I’m really concerned because he’s a friendly, lovely little boy.
I’m going through the same. Ended up having a stray adopt us when we moved into an apt. Was always getting in fights, looking rough. We thought he was picked on and we let him stay. He is not social, very cuddly but overall hates the fact cats or humans exist and is pissed off he woke up. He does however adore me. Few weeks ago partner found a stray runt by the dumpster who no doubt would of died, I didn’t want it but partner was excited so I relented. I was worried it would take time for older cat to adjust. Well..he loathes the new kitten. First week he just growled at it. Just smelling where the kitten and been he was bug eyed and having a panic attack. I’ve gotten it now where I can hold the kitten and big cat will walk back and forth in front of my legs, plopping his tail in my lap and the kitten will paw at it and chomp on his tail, he just looks back in disgust. I took this as a sign he was curious, put the kitten down (hand under him to rescue if needed) and big cat w no warning at all tries to roundhouse kitten and growls 😩 it’s confusing, he will act curious and then switch to murder mode.
Hi, I’m currently dealing this same issue! I adopted an abandoned cat- she is only 8 weeks old. My dusty a male cat I’ve had a year and half chases, bites her like she’s prey. Next min when I am out they cuddling on my bed?? I don’t know what to do!
Cats aren’t usually very social animals, but sometimes they can take this to extremes! My best advice is to make sure that they are in separate areas of the house, with separate feeding and drinking stations, and lots and lots of litter trays spread out. Initially, try and make sure they can’t interact, and then over weeks, as she gets used to his smell, consider allowing (but not forcing!) them to be in the same space at the same time if they want. In most cases, the more dominant cat will make his or her point, and then they will agree to time-share different spaces. If it doesn’t work, usually one cat moves out.
Yesterday I brought home a 4MO kitten. My 8YO senior hissed at him, smelled around for a long time and made a sound similair to the one of vomiting several times. My kitten used to live with fifteen other cats so he is perfectly unbothered by the other. Today my senior seemed way more calm, to the point of “allowing” the kitten in the same room as him while eating. He explored the room I put the kitten in and they spent about 30 minutes in it together, and it came to a point where the senior booped and smelled the kitten’s face while asleep and then left. Are they progressing or am I forcing them too fast by letting them in the same room?
That does sound like progress, but definitely take it slow and steady – and be ready to step in if needed.
Oh, I appreciate this information. I have been trying to introduce a new Ragdoll kitten into my home with a 2 yo resident Ragdoll and-(not having cats in a long time, let alone 2)-I do believe my older is bullying the baby. I think I’m going to have to follow your instructions here and start again. Feliway will be here tomorrow and I’ll check my feed store for those homeopathic products for possibly a calming one? Thank you!
Good luck with them! Feliway Friends (if you can get it) is specifically designed for these situations, but any of the Feliway range is likely to be effective at damping things down.
it is worth bearing in mind that most cat’s aren’t very social animals – they tolerate other cats rather than liking them. While there are exceptions, personally, I’d settle for “armed truce” rather than holding out for BFF status!!!
useful information, can I post this on my blog? I will of course cite the source.
Yes of course