We all know what it’s like – the awful gap where your friend used to be; the sense of loss, or even a feeling of numbness or emptiness. Sometimes, it’s easier to fill that with doing something, sometimes it’s not. But nevertheless, when your pet reaches the end of the road, whether that’s expected or not, there are some practical and not-so-practical but equally important things you need to think about. So if you have a plan in advance, it can make the first few days easier.
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When your cat passes away, you may need some additional guidance on what to do next and how best to receive support. Although no two situations are ever the same, you may find it beneficial to chat with people who have recently been through a similar process. Gaining information on what went well may help to guide your decision making, as it will widen your awareness of options, and provide feedback on how it made others feel. If you can chat to people locally, getting recommendations for local pet bereavement and funeral services may be of interest to you. If you would like additional emotional support, please discuss with your local veterinary practice about emotional support services available following the passing of a loved furry friend – many charities now offer this wonderful service.
Practical issues
1: What to do with their remains?
There are many options for your cat’s body, regardless of whether your pet passed away at home or whether they passed away at the veterinary practice.
You can bury your cat at home. There are some strict rules regarding how deep you must bury your pet and how far away from water supplies the body is laid. You must own the land that you plan to bury your pet on. Please check these regulations on the government website as they do sometimes change.
You could get your pet individually cremated which means you have the option to receive the ashes back, allowing for more options for keepsakes. Individual cremation is a more expensive option.
Alternatively, you can get your pet communally cremated which means they are cremated with other animals. And, therefore, you cannot get your pet’s ashes back.
We strongly recommend you not to keep their remains at home whilst you decide on which option to take. This is because the remains will start to smell as they decompose, making them difficult to keep safely. Taking them to your local vets for cool storage is important for conserving the body as appropriately as possible.
2: Memorial gifts
These are increasingly popular, and can be created from your pet’s ashes, or from a pawprint or curl of hair. There are options to have jewellery made which have the ashes inside, or even get jewellery engraved with your pet’s name. You can get caskets which allow you to scatter your pets ashes or place them within your home as decoration. There are lots of casket options available depending on what your future plans are for the ashes. There are many accessories now on offer including keyrings, pillows and ornaments. If you bury your cat, you can create memorial books and create personalised picture frames amongst other things. Plaques can be engraved to mark the burial place too.
Fur clippings and paw prints can be great keepsakes for your pet. Be sure to request the items you would like from your veterinary practice or cremation centre so they can provide the service you’d like. If you would like to know more about options available to you in your local area, please discuss with your local veterinary practice about where is best to go that will offer the service you are opting for.
Less practical ones
3: Feline funerals are an option to consider
You can personally select the funeral lead, ensuring you feel as comfortable as possible during your final goodbyes. We recommend having a meaningful conversation with different funeral companies so you can select the company and person you feel understands you best. You plan the funeral in a similar way to as you would when a human passes. This includes choosing songs, speeches and having a gathering of people. You can personalise the service as much as you like and choose how much time is spent indoors and outdoors. Do not feel rushed in making any decisions regarding your cat’s funeral. These decisions are difficult to make.
4: Dealing with grief
Grieving is something we will all go through when a pet passes. Walking into your home with nobody to greet you will initially feel different and unusual. Informing people when you feel ready is useful as otherwise someone may ask you about how your pet is doing, which may stimulate emotion at an inappropriate time. Other animals within your household may mourn. They may show signs of depression such as, lethargy, not eating as much and, sometimes, signs of aggression. Allowing other pets to see the body can sometimes help, although this is not always an option. It helps your pet to understand where your cat has gone rather than wondering when they will return. Animals are extremely intelligent and understand much more than we believe.
Give yourself time
Coming to terms with the passing of a loved one does take time. It is impossible to predict how you will react. Do not rush to make any decisions and know your local veterinary practice is able to provide support and information on helplines that you may find extremely helpful during this difficult time.
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